August 2, 2013

There's a fungus among us.

Before I really get into today's post, I must mention that last night I attended a very special event. A new friend of mine and her precious family were coming through town on their way to Florida... there was a gathering of their "Tennessee friends" at my girlfriend's cabin and it was absolutely amazing. I simply don't have enough time to tell you how incredibly special the evening was. So many kids, so much love, so many amazing stories of adoption, and just an overall abundance of life.  So refreshing.  I hope to expand further one day soon, but my amazing mama is in town right now and we have a lot of antique shopping to get to :) So, I leave you on DAY 2 of the 30 DAY CHALLENGE with a story I've been dying to share with you. I have seriously not laughed this hard in a while.  This real-life tale written by my real-life friend Brittany is seriously one for the books. She has the best sense of humor and is an incredible sport when it comes to embarrassing moments.

 (See we really are friends. I am on the left and she is on the right.  Note to self: close your purse when walking the streets of PCB, silly!)

Anyhow, she posted this story on her blog the other night and I just couldn't quit laughing. I immediately asked if I could share it with you and she kindly obliged :) SO without further ado, here's "There's a fungus among us."
---

There's a fungus among us... by Brittany Stewart

It has recently come to my attention that I need a new doctor.  She became my doctor after I worked in the same doctor's office in high school as a file clerk.  I loved working there alphabetizing patients files and never peaking to see how much they weighed.

I was a senior in high school.
Her son was a senior in high school.
So of course we dated.

He was my first real boyfriend.  He would pick me up in his mustang.  He would write me poems.  He even sent roses to my school.  He also told his mother everything we talked about and I would have to hear all about it later at the office.
So I dumped him cold turkey.

Now to be fair I had zero experience in life, relationships, and how to work a basic flip cell phone.  I moved on, HE has moved on, but his mother clearly has not.

I only see his mom (my doctor) when I am at my best.  Like last week when I went in for a rash on my torso.  She was not in the room for more than two minutes before she was gushing about how great her son is, how fabulous his job is, and how beautiful his new wife is.

I, being polite, was trying to not scratch my rash and smile and nod agreeing with how successful he had become .  I start crawling out of my skin.  After what seemed like an eternity she finally asked me to lift my shirt and with a gleam in her eye diagnosed that I have a fungus.

That's right folks.
A FUNGUS.
Talk about wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
Out of all the embarrassing diseases, this one is pretty far up on the list.

Faster than I could pull my shirt down she had convinced me to follow her to her office where she preceded to show me photos from said ex-boyfriend's wedding, including bridal portraits.  I get it, I am the perfect daughter-in-law that you always wanted.  But I have moved on, your son has clearly moved on, and you would think after 10 years you would have moved on as well.

So the search is on for a new doctor that will only judge me for my fungus and not for rash (pun intended) decisions I made in 2003.


On a lighter note the fungus/rash is clearing up.  And it is good to be back. 

1 comment:

Brittany Stewart said...

Thanks for loving me through the gross moments in life! Does this count as one for me in the 30 day challenge??? ;)