Court has not happened yet.I don’t talk much about it on here because A) I didn't want to have to write "waiting on court" one more time and B) the truth of that fact punches me in the gut so hard that I can hardly catch my breath.It's like I am treading water with no sign of shore.It’s emotionally exhausting.
Jen Hatmaker (blogger, adoptive mama, speaker, author of the book ‘7’ which all of you must read) wrote in a blog post, “Please let me explain something about WP (waiting purgatory): It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and “God is refining me” and “Sovereignty trumps my feelings” and crazy business like that. But we are crying and aching and getting angry and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It hurts. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not. It is harder for us to see that, because many of us have pictures on our refrigerators of these beautiful darlings stuck in an orphanage somewhere while we’re bogged down in bureaucracy and delays.”
Amen. Amen. Amen. Waiting purgatory SUCKS.
My days tend to be consumed with coffee, waiting for any sign of movement on the adoption front (this looks like a lot of grunting and groaning and refreshing my email 2200 times an hour), and eating lunch with friends (thank God for the women in my life whomakeme spill my guts, even if it means we all ugly cry.) The nights look a lot like me writing grants, sitting by the fire with Sean, talking about the day, and hoping/praying for news the next day. (Sprinkle in some Wonder Years, Pinterest, and a few feel good movies like Dennis the Menace and you basically have a snapshot of my life right now.)
I'm also incredibly blessed to walk through this journey with two other adoptive mamas. We can sit around a table, let our guards down, order pizza and talk about super exciting things like 1-600's, homestudies and dossiers.
Bottom line: God is good. Each day is different. Some days are easier than others and some days are so difficult I cling onto prayer and encouraging words from others like it's my job. In the book 7 (previously mentioned) Jen addressed the final stages of "WP." She said it was hard for her to get out of bed and that her mother-in-law called to see how she was doing b/c her granddaughter had called “worried about Mom.”This was encouraging to read that other moms “who seem to have it all together” are desperately battling this waiting thing too.
Point is...We’re waiting. I’ll keep you updated and the day that court happens, even if you live on the other side of the world, go outside and listen closely, because you’ll probably hear me screaming from the rooftops.
Sidenote: If you have a friend who is going through WP, send them my email and I will send them all the blogs/books that have helped me along the way. There's a whole community out there, you just have to look in the right places.
Double sidenote: I'm still finding joy in my days, in spite of the waiting. I promise. See?
P.S. If you want to read something good to the soul, please read Jen Hatmaker's last two blog posts on Easter.
Today we finish up our "Getting Real" Series. I have had an absolute blast convincing folks to spill their guts on my blog. (hehe). No seriously, though... It has been a true honor to have such amazing women take the time to share their stories on this little blog of mine. I am inspired and blessed by each of them. If you've missed any of the other segments you can find them here:
But today... Today is the grand finale folks and do I have a treat for you!! I'm so blessed to introduce you to my friend Megan. If you've been reading my blog for more than 3 seconds you've probably already heard me speak about her. We met 5 years ago through my husband's work (they are both songwriters) and she quickly became one of my absolute dearest friends. I am constantly inspired by her heart, blessed by her talent (her music is insane), and brought to tears because she makes me laugh so hard. #herlifeshouldbearealityshow.
But...enough of me talking. Her awesomeness speaks for itself.
***** heeeeeeeeeey guys it's meghan. just kidding, it's meagan. just kidding, it's megyn. just kidding.
if i'm being real it's megan. just megan. plain and simple. when i was little i thought this was a dreadfully boring name. i wanted something much more original and secretly wished i had a name as cool as my cabbage patch kid. her name was dilenna serini. with age came the perspective that 'dilenna' sounds a bit stripper-esque, but 6 year old megan wanted nothing more. and since we're being honest i'm pretty glad most things in my life haven't gone the way that i wanted them to. i would have been an orphan, married at least 2 of your garden variety 'wrong guys', and ended up a solo artist and jameson might not have ever existed. i'd also probably be perfectly skinny and crabby instead of muffin topped and happy. phew, glad i dodged that!
since mae mae has been brave enough to open up the floor and let us get real i thought i'd give you a peek at what things look like in my head vs. what things look like in my real life. you know, the skinny vs. the muffin topped. buckle your seatbelts... err, shield your eyes or whatever. it's not going to be pretty.
HAIR: i have not gotten a haircut since february of 2011. thats right. 13 months and counting. the ends of my hair look like they got sucked up in the vacuum cleaner. it's borderline duggar. a reference I am not proud of. i'm about a week away from it touching my butt. when that happens i will cry, then book the stinkin' haircut.
and how do i know it has been 13 months since my last haircut? because i just saw the receipt while compiling truckloads of them for my taxes. which brings me to...
MY OFFICE: i am a type A person. when my world is in order my life is in order. the level of organization in my home office has a direct correlation with how crazy my calendar looks. in my head my office looks like this:
in real life my office currently looks like this:
i'd like to hire mary poppins to swing by and snap her fingers at this disaster. i've been pulling things together for my taxes for weeks and can't take the piles anymore. must. finish. pronto. there's a pile of sh-fill in the vowel-t that has been waiting for me to get to it since last year. sorry pile, i don't see myself finding time for you in the near future. there's also an ever growing box of baby clothes that will be holding residence in that very corner until july. a box of baby clothes? yes, baby clothes. because...
GERALD AND GERALDINE: i have twin 2 year olds. but they live in sierra leone, west africa. and i don't know when they will be able to come live in nashville, tennessee with me. the very very very very abbreviated version is that the raining season took the twins in when they were 2 months old. they live in an orphanage called 'the covering' with 92 other kids. an adoption ban has been in effect in sierra leone since 2009 due to the atrocities of human trafficking. this means that in the foreseeable future none of the children at the covering will have the opportunity to be placed with adoptive families. to counteract this the center started an initiative called 'forever families' which means that we are essentially a family that just doesn't live together. we skype weekly, i can visit them as frequently as i want but am required to go at least once a year, they call me mommy, i call them little man and baby girl, they are mine, i am theirs, and we are a family. i have every intention of bringing them here to live with me the very second this adoption ban disappears. in the meantime i daydream. it usually looks a lot like this:
but every tuesday at 7:55am it really looks like this:
bed-headed blurry chaos. we are no branjelina. we are better. we are meraldine. (that would be the 'branjelina' of megan+gerald+geraldine, right? eh, i'm open to suggestions...)
so there you have it. the truth. the stone cold variety. next time you see me with a messy bun on the top of my head don't let the red lipstick fool you. it's simply there to distract your eyes downward from the fact that, no, i still have not gotten around to cutting my hair. and if we're getting reeeeeally real? i probably haven't washed it in 3 days either.
First of all, you should all check out Smart Gardener. It is a free website that plans your garden for you. You tell it the size of your garden, where you live, what you want to grow, and which direction the sun comes up and it creates a garden for you. It gives you a diagram of where to plant things, spits out a weekly to-do list, keeps up with your local weather, and weaves you a friendship bracelet while it's at it. It's heavenly. You even get to name your garden. Mine is named "McMae."
**Sidenote: this site assists you in planting a "real-life-in-your-hands-you-actually-eat-the-food" garden... not one of the virtual ones I see on the internet.**
Secondly, I received the following item in a distraction bag this week and bust out laughing:
So I cried a little (read: hysterical tears of overwhelming joy) when I saw Sesame Street on Ice as a kid... doesn't everybody?