August 17, 2012

"Your **** is our bread and butter."

I found these images HERE and thought they were fairly entertaining.  The maps list one good fact and one unfortunate fact about each state. For me, my state has the most caves (I guess that's a good thing?) and the most amount of sewer overflows (gross...)  Which reminds me of a plumbing business my mother found one time in which their slogan was "Your sh*t is our bed and butter."  Interesting.

What is your state good and awful at?

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Did your facts surprise you?

*mae*

August 15, 2012

There's a colonial woman on the wing... and other exciting sightings...

Over the past few weeks, I have been helping a friend collect ideas for her upcoming wedding. We often exchange emails with little ideas, things to remember, etc. Well, two days ago I received an email from her with the word "Bridesmaids" in the subject line.  Naturally, I assumed it was a picture of a dress, a list of girls names, or something similar.  Instead, it was this:

theres a colonial woman churning butter on the wing
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I about spit my coffee out. If you haven't seen the movie Bridesmaids you won't find this nearly as funny.  But this is the scene that Kristen Wiig must have been imagining when she grabbed the microphone and spoke over the flight attendant saying, "I have an announcement too.  There's a colonial woman on the wing... I saw her, there is something they're not telling us!  There is a colonial woman.  She was churning butter.  She is churning butter, she is out there RIGHT NOW."  I literally get tickled every time I think about it.  Oh hallucinations... you are so funny.  Just kidding.  I have never hallucinated and never, ever want to.  Ever.  Speaking of hallucinations, my friends saw a super famous person last night at the most unsuspecting of places... a hallucination would have made more sense, but alas, it was real-life, eyes-wide-open, mind-fully-functioning situation. I'll just let her tell you about it... HERE.

Happy Wednesday!
***

August 14, 2012

I'm a Sleep Texter...

A few years ago, Sean was on the road when I woke up to my phone beeping incessantly.  I was receiving text after text after text.  Worried that something was wrong, I sat up, grabbed my glasses, and began reading the texts. They were all from Sean:

SEAN: What????
SEAN: Who are you with???
SEAN: Where are you???

Huh? These texts were highly confusing. It was 3am on a work night, wouldn't Sean know I was at home sleeping?  Why did he sound so panicked? What did he mean, "Where was I?" It was all  very strange. 

And then as I stared at my phone, I began reading the texts more carefully and discovered that there were some texts before those that I hadn't read yet. I was shocked at what I saw.  According to my text history, Sean had texted me at 2:45 am with this:

"Leaving venue, what are you doing?"

To which I responded at 2:46am,

"Oh not too much.  Just hanging out playing cards with the boys."

HUH?!?? WHAT??!!?? Why would I have said that??? When did I say that?? No wonder he was confused!! 

I picked up the phone and called Sean.  Naturally, he was baffled and worried as to why I would be spending the early morning hours (2 hours before my alarm went off to go teach) playing cards with an unnamed group of gentlemen.  I sat there and explained what had happened... that I had just woken up and seen that I sent that text and that I had no recollection of typing it whatsoever... And that NO I wasn't playing cards with "the boys" but was, in fact, in a deep sleep and still very, very tired.

After a few minutes of trying to figure out what had just happened, we came to understand that I had sleep texted. Some people walk in their sleep... I apparently text in my sleep . And yes, that is terrifying. My first thought was "who else have I texted in my sleep? What did I say??"  Then those thoughts were immediately followed with,"Well done, unconscious Mae Mae. You spelled everything correctly.  You even used punctuation.  Impressive."

So if you know me in real life, the next time you see me doing this:


Beware.  
I could be sleeping. 

Creepy. 

August 13, 2012

Storms, a Redneck, the Closing Ceremonies, and Stinky Armpits...

It is storming here right now... Lots of thunder, super-hard rain, warnings on the tv...  In fact, I should probably unplug my computer... but it's about to die and I want to keep blogging...  I'll just plug it into the surge protector.  Hold on...

Okay, now I'm back.  How was your weekend?  Mine was good.  We went to the Tomoto-Art-Festival  in East Nashville.  The Tomato Fest is always so much fun and this year proved to be no exception.  Miraculously, 10 of our friends showed up at the exact same spot at the exact same time.  (Unheard of) So we were able to wander the booths, grab some BBQ and hang out in front of the misting fans together.  By 1:00 we were all exhausted and went home to take naps, watch movies, and lounge.

At 3:00 I scratched my neck and discovered that my lack of sunscreen was a costly error.  I was burned everywhere my tank top didn't cover.  Oh well.  Such is the cost for a great time in the sun, and I figured being as red as a tomato was my way of honoring the festivities... no? no.  Next time I'll remember.

That's me (in the ball cap closet to the camera) rushing towards a booth with cool chalkboard frames... completely unaware that my back was sizzling...
As for the rest of the weekend, I watched two movies (has anyone seen "Timer"? I found it on Netflix and actually really enjoyed it. Very bizarre plot line but entertaining none-the-less...)  AND I watched Where the Heart Is.  Remember that one with Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd?  So, so, good.  God bless those writers.

Sprinkle in some food, an easy cookout with friends Friday night, a quick shopping extravaganza, and a few tears during the recap of the Olympics (prior to the Closing Ceremonies) and that's my weekend... Speaking of Closing Ceremonies... what were your thoughts? Highlights?  I especially enjoyed the Spice Girls (don't judge.)  I actually prepared myself for being sorely disappointed BUT their energy was pretty awesome and those cars? Too cool. Might be cheesy but I loved it.  Well done, ladies.

Also, my father found my New Years Resolutions from 1993... My favorite one was to "Be More Igreable."  Say what?!?  I thought 8 year old resolutions were like "Learn how to do that cool thing on my roller blades."  but "Be More Igreable?"  Hilarious. (Obviously I meant agreeable, don't worry, I'm a slightly better speller now.) My complete list of all of my New Years Resolutions circa 1993 coming soon.

AND... last but not least, my sister Maddie has begun a series today that you HAVE to check out.  I read her first post this morning and about spit my coffee out.  Spoiler alert: it involves stinky armpits, unicorns, and soliloquies.  You won't be disappointed.  Head over HERE to see what I'm talking about. 

Happy Monday!

mae