November 6, 2012

Update

It is 2:10am and I’m wide awake. I’ve become a regular companion of this unfortunate hour the past few weeks. Fall asleep at 11, wake up at 1, back asleep at 1:30, up again at 2:00, asleep again at 5:00, up again when the feeding pump alarm goes off at 5:30…Despite my frequent meetings with insomnia, Abiella (thank God) is typically sleeping 7-9 hours a night.  So why am I up then? Because the feeding tube is driving me crazy, that’s why.

Before we left the hospital, a nurse said to us “Keep a close eye on her at night.  If this tube gets pulled out a little and the food is still pumping through, it can go into her lungs and cause her to choke.” Hmm… is that so? Well then, I guess I won’t be getting any sleep EVER until this tube is history. Every single cough, sneeze, movement, grunt, or snort has me hopping out of bed, standing by the crib, listening for breathing, making sure the tube is still in the right place and double checking that all is well. Is this overkill? Maybe. But can I do it differently? No.

So- tonight- (this morning?) for the umpteenth morning in a row- I woke up from a noise I can’t even recall and now I’m lying awake, dogs at my feet, listening to Abi snore three feet to my left and Sara (the pup) snore three feet below me.

Am I happy? Yes.  Very. Am I tired? Uh-huh.

BUT these maddening battles with sleep are only a portion of our world.  In 2 hours I will disconnect Abi from the pole hanging above her bed, carry her on my chest to the kitchen, hit BREW on the coffee pot, and hang out with my favorite gal beside the fire…reading books, playing games, and singing songs. 

Life is good.  Very, very good…

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You know what else makes life good?  The fact that my other mama (Sean’s mom) came to visit this weekend!!! Woohoo…. 

nanabaa1
Meeting Abiella for the first time.
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nanabaa4

Too beautiful.

mae mae

22 comments:

Traci said...

aaahhh welcome to motherhood :D It truly is perfect even when it isn't.

tammycody said...

That last photo is great! Pure joy.

Melodee said...

sleep is overrated! loved reading your update mamma!

Libby A. said...

that last picture is priceless. So beautiful.

Meagan Rigney said...

Those pictures....oh they made me cry a little. A grandma in love. Beautiful! And you will sleep again....someday:)

Ashleigh Nichole said...

I love the last picture & hopefully you can get some sleep soon.

Elle to Elle said...

Welcome to motherhood! Where nothing is overkill. At least not in this stage anyway.
You have such a beautiful family...including grandmas!!!!

Vanessa {Vanilla and Rose} said...

Wow, I wouldn't sleep either if I was you! Hopefully it'll be gone soon! Also, the photos are beautiful! I LOVE the very last one! Too cute! Abiella looks so happy! :)

Jessica said...

she is so beautiful. im sorry that you are too tired. I will be praying for you!

Renee said...

Praying for the fast departure of the feeding tube, and that the wakeful nights become easier! The joy on your families faces says it's all more than worth it!! You guys are doing an Amazing job!! :)

Danielle said...

The picture with you in tears when Sean's mamma met Abi brought me to tears instantly. So beautiful and amazing. I'm so happy for you guys and miss you like crazy! Love you! xoxo

Babygirl said...

That baby girl is so lucky to have you for a momma...continued blessings and prayers to you and your family.

Katye Y said...

Love the pictures! Abi looks like she is getting stronger. And that smile! Love you!

It's Sooo Fluffy! said...

I don't know how many times I can say how lucky that girl is to have you as her mother! I hope you get some rest soon.

Carolyn said...

So sweet! I love the pics of her and Sean's mom! :)

Here's hoping the feeding tube can be removed soon!

Susan McConnell said...

Oh, that last one!!!! Going on the fridge. Right. Now.

Anonymous said...

They are radiating Joy. Love it.

Jess said...

Idea.. Do you already have a video baby monitor? It may help being able to see her from your bed with the push of a button.. I hope it gets better soon

megan james said...

Stop it. Just stop it right now. The last picture of them laughing is making me weepy. I love you. Now stop it.

Missy said...

wow. no words.
sharing your joy

Anonymous said...

I too have been through the sleepless nights as a momma of a special needs kiddo with a ng tube--thinking of you....she is beautiful :)

Ada Igoe said...

Oh, of course you won't get any sleep until the feeding tube's gone. How much longer will she have to have it?

Maybe it's just me, but is that baby getting bigger? If the pictures are correct, she appears to be growing stronger!