Feeding Tubes, Bonding, and Being Home

First: Before I get into today's post... We're thinking and praying for those affected by Sandy.  I was up all night watching the story unfold and the pictures of babies being evacuated from the hospital (due to power outage) absolutely broke me.  Having just been in the hospital with my baby for 8 days, I can't imagine the scene inside that dark hospital and the weight and worry of every family member involved in that situation.  Thankful for the spirit and bravery of those assisting during this disaster. As more and more devastating reports surface, we are praying for those who have lost so much... 

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Now... onto the regularly scheduled programming...

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Oh blog, how I have missed thee. I’ve been busy being many things… a new mom, an even newer nurse, and a really, really tired gal.

First, life here has been amazing.  Abiella is bonding with us really quickly (it seems) and she LOVES being home. It’s like she just KNEW this was her home… as soon as we put her in her crib again she just kicked and smiled.  

But before I talk about life at home, here are some pics from the hospital I never shared:

Abi is officially obsessed with Sean playing the guitar.  (I can relate.)  Anytime she's really upset, I'll yell to Sean, "Go get the guitar."  9 times out of 10 she calms down immediately. 

This was Abi's favorite part of the day. She loved watching the sun come in through the blinds each morning. 

Abi's FIRST vegetable in America :) Hello, Sweet Potatoes; Abi's a big fan.

Finally, after 8 days in the hospital, we were sent home! 

Soooo now we’re now doing a full healthcare routine at home…  What does that look like?  Well for now, it looks like a big feeding tube hanging from an IV pole above Abi’s crib. 

We hook her into that sucker 3 times a day (and during the night) and pump necessary nutrients into her body.  When she’s not hooked up to the pump, I feed her by mouth 3 times a day too.  It’s fair to say that our entire day is scheduled around getting food into Miss Abiella’s belly… and I’m MORE THAN FINE with that.  I’ve wanted to get this baby healthy and fat since I held her for the first time 11 months ago.  THIS is a blessing…

HOWEVER, this new health care routine comes with a few unfortunate side effects, including the fact that this tube can come out by accident (and did Saturday morning) and we have to replace it (through her nose, down her throat, and into her stomach)... by ourselves. Oh my.

Thankfully we received great training at the hospital and have a nurse and doctor on-call should we need anything... 

Despite the fact that I can not WAIT until this tube is in the history books, we are THANKFUL for the tube because it is HELPING our daughter.  However, we have a doctor’s visit in 2 weeks to discuss the future of “The Tube" and my hope is that the tube's future doesn't exist. 

For now, I'm going to go have another cupcake (thank you Sara!), finish my iced coffee, and make Abiella a snack.  Peas, don't fail me now. This chick's not exactly a huge fun of green veggies... but I can relate... no garlic, no salt, no cheese?? No thank you. 

 

But before I sign off for today, let me thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers, encouraging comments, and sweet emails.  I have read them over and over again during the challenging moments. They've meant so much. 

Blessings, 

mae 

Day 6

Today, I stepped outside the hospital doors for the first time (since brining Abi to her pediatrician’s appointment 6 days ago. ) For days, Sean has been saying, “You have to get out.  For your sanity, go walk outside!” But I never did… until today. This morning, I woke up with Abi at about 4:45am, by 6 am, we had met with the doctor, by 7am I was showered and feeding Abi breakfast, and at 7:15 I said, “Okay.  I’m ready. How about I go to Target?”  So Sean, cheered me on, I grabbed my wallet, kissed my baby, and headed out the door. I took my first breath of fresh air in 6 days at 8:30 am.  It was colder than I expected.  Woohoo, Fall is upon us!

Target was good and when I returned, all was well and I was glad I had gone… however… I got a taste of freedom and now I CRAVE it.  I want to leave again… but WITH ABI! (Although we remain SO THANKFUL for the assistance and health care we are receiving… we are ready to live life without 18 cables attached to our baby, the incessant beeping of a heart monitor, and the constant intake of people looking at (scaring) Miss Abiella.

But before, we leave (hopefully on Tuesday) I must share with you a few random miracles that have happened (among many) since we’ve been here. 

First- one of our nurses came in and said, “I had to come meet you.  I lived in Ghana for 2 years!”  Huh?!?  Really?!? Turned out, at the age of 16 she moved to Ghana as an exchange student, lived in a home without running water, went to public high school there, and fell so in love with the culture that she stayed an extra year.  Throughout our stay here, she has come in to our room periodically and we’ve shared stories of our beloved daughter’s birth place.  So amazing.

Second- One of our night nurse’s whom we love so much noticed we were awake in the middle of the night and leaned over to us and with a shaky voice said, “There’s such a difference in this baby already.  I’m weeping. What a miracle!”  So reassuring to see that someone else saw such a difference too!

Lastly, (are you ready for this?)  We had a different nurse come in yesterday and from the second I met her I loved her.  She was kind, fun, hilarious, and around my age.  I noticed right off the bat she was exceptionally good with Abiella.  Near the end of her shift, she came in and said, “Is Abi going to be going home with the feeding tube?”  I said, “Yes, I believe so.”  She replied, “Would you like me to start teaching you how to use it?” I quickly agreed and she told me she’d come in that evening and show me a few of the basics. So an hour or so later, she returned and as I watched what she was doing, she looked up at us and said, “I adopted a child with special needs who had to go home on a feeding tube…so I know how you’re feeling. It’ll get easier.”  Oh my gosh.  My jaw hit the floor. 

“What?!?  You did?"  She proceeded to tell me a story that was similar to ours… (adoption first, biological kids later…etc. etc.) Main difference? They adopted 3 siblings at once!  The child with special needs was suffering from seizures, vomiting, lack of mobility, and considered blind and deaf.  As she told me her story I felt as if God had sent me an angel straight into my room.  She looked over at Abi and said, “She’ll do great.  You have no idea. We were told our son would only be able to suck his thumb.  Two years later (age 4) he can roll over, see, hear, say Mama, laugh, his seizures are gone and his vomiting has ceased.”  Her attitude, her light, her joy, and her knowledge were such gifts.  She had been in our shoes… I told her, “You’re an angel! I just told Sean how we needed to meet some parents in our same position… (adopting a child with special needs) and little did I know God had already sent me someone. The very woman treating our precious daughter all day!”  Unbelievable.  She told me she wasn’t even supposed to take that shift and that she had never even worked on our floor.  Unbelievable!!!  She’s our nurse again today and I’m learning so much, gaining so much strength from her unbelievable outlook, and basking in the joy of sharing a similar experience.  Do we know if our children will ever communicate fully? No. Do we know if our children will ever walk? No. But we cheer at the victories we see.  The way she put it, “Everyone says, ‘You’re crazy. What if he can’t do this? Or he can’t do that?' And I always see the opposite, Look at what HE CAN DO! Look at what we didn’t know was possible… becoming possible!”  Such a light.  Such a gift. And such a needed blessing when our spirits were tired, jet lag was rumbling, and hospital air was stiff and stifling. What a reminder that God loves US.  Not just Abi.  But US.  When we needed a boost, he sent one before we even knew how to ask. 

source

mae mae

Why We’re Still in the Hospital…

Malnutrition is no joke. It affects every function of your body and serious malnutrition can rock your world when you try to correct it. That’s why we’re still in the hospital.

Abiella came home weighing 15 pounds. She is almost 2 years old. For the majority of her life she ate (best we can guess) a no-calorie, “porridge” type filler, that was probably void of any nutritional value. She probably received 2 or 3 feedings a day with perhaps no liquids (other than what was in her porridge.) Because of this, she is at a high risk for what’s called, “Refeeding Syndrome.”

Refeeding Syndrome is when a body is SO malnourished that consuming nutritional substances can cause a number of serious complications, including cardiac failure. You can read why here. This phenomenon is commonly seen in starving children, those recovering from anorexia, etc.

This means it is not safe for us to begin feeding Abiella a balanced diet until we’ve maintained a successful transition under strict supervision in a hospital. What does this transition look like? Well, it means feeding her nutritional formula through a feeding tube that runs day and night, and letting me feed her two small portions of rice cereal a day by mouth. In the meantime, blood is drawn every 8 hours to look at her electrolytes, potassium, magnesium, etc…. These labs tell us how her body is reacting to the new diet and if the “refeeding syndrome” is showing its head. Depending on each lab result, doctors either increase the amount of food she can receive (via tube) each day and/or supplement her with additional vitamins. They also have her hooked up to a million electrodes to monitor her heart and observe how it is handling the new diet. It’s a lot of mumbo jumbo that I could continue to talk about, but the bottom line is it has been hard.

Abi is a real trooper but MY GOSSSHHHH. Adoption studies show to try not to leave your home for 2 weeks and to not take your new child to places with major stimulus (malls, grocery stores, etc.) for months! Now, 2 days after landing in America, baby girl is getting poked and prodded by a bunch of white people, woken up every 4 hours to have a cold thermometer stuck under her armpit, and gone through a series (as in 9) tests sending her through x-ray machines, radiation, etc., etc. ,etc. Since I walked in this building Monday morning for Abiella’s first doctor’s visit, (Our pediatrician’s office is in the hospital) I have not walked back outside…

To say Abiella's had a few hard days is an understatement. She’s bruised, and sore, and working hard to maintain her spirits. However, despite some major blows, she's still finding some time to be happy...

…which is saying a lot… Over the past few days, she’s blown through 4 IV’s b/c her tiny veins can’t take it and now they’re just pricking her every time they need blood (and sometimes THAT doesn't even draw blood…and they have to do it again) Someone literally mentioned to me today about the idea of putting an IV in her scalp… Um yeah- you’ve got to be kidding me.

BUT Abi’s marching forward. Luckily we have had an incredible team of doctors and nurses and PT and OT come in each day and give her baby massages which she seems to adore… and today, despite the 15 chords attached to her body (feeding tube, IV, and 10 electrodes) we managed to get her in our laps and hold her… all day.

She responded quickly and loved the affection… which is a blessing.

…So if you think about it, pray for our little one. Her first week in America is turning out to be quite a challenge…

However, we remain exceptionally grateful that we're here in America together, getting her the health care she needs.

Let's just hope we can get healthy and back home quickly :) 

Signing off from the children's hospital...

mama mae mae

Hello Parenthood…

How am I ever going to blog about the last 96 hours of my life?!? ABI IS HOME!!!!!!!! (Well, in Tennessee that is… I’m typing this from a rocking chair beside her crib in a hospital.) So, for the sake of my tired eyes, and my low laptop battery… I’ll catch you up with a list… Then later I’ll go back and write more about various things that I HAVE to tell you about. But for now, this is all I got…

I’m doing this chronologically… here goes.

1) We got Abi’s visa Thursday afternoon (as I drove back to the hotel I called Sean and we screamed over the phone with pure joy, I then ran back into my hotel, rushed upstairs, grabbed my bags, picked up my baby and my mom and rushed to the airport. We made it there just in time to check in and begin boarding. Phew.

2) We flew from Ghana to NYC. As we took off the ground and headed to the US I couldn’t believe it. (10.5 hr flight.) Abi was a champ and slept most of the way…didn’t make a peep. When we finally landed the passengers cheered and I did all I could to not start bawling… Abi had landed on American soil. She was finally here.

3) At 4:30 am we rushed into the NYC airport , changed a dirty diaper and hopped into the line for immigration. An hour later I was through immigration and rushing to our gate for the next flight. Carrying a baby with luggage on my back through the airports is officially really, really difficult. (Props to all you traveling mamas.) Any suggestions on slings for a child as long as a 2 year old but can't hold there head up yet is appreciated. (Baby biorn doesn’t work for her weak muscles right now.)

4) The next flight, from NYC to Atlanta, went great, except when we landed in Atlanta, Abi started screaming…. She was having major stomach pains (or so it seemed.)

5) We immediately took her to the bathroom where we changed her diaper and began to feed her again. She was inconsolable. So I camped out on the bathroom floor of the Atlanta airport, (getting many, MANY looks) soothing Abiella, getting her medicine, etc. etc annnddd…missing our flight. So, Sean coordinated a rental car with a car seat at the airport.

6) The painful fit lasted so long that the staff asked if they could do anything to help and I said, , “YES. Get me to my rental car kiosk. I’m exhausted and I can’t walk with her and all my luggage that far. “ (Over a mile.)

7) So they graciously got a wheel chair for me and wheeled me with Abi (now asleep on my shoulder) about a mile to the rental car company.

8) We got our car and drove straight to a McDonald’s parking lot where my mom ran in to get food for us and I fed Abi in the back seat. As we hit the highway, we let out a major sigh of relief that we were in a car… on American soil… and began the 2.5 hour drive to my mom’s house.

9) As we drove towards the mountain, so did Sean. We were going to meet halfway at my mom’s house.

10) Abi finally fell asleep and as we pulled up the mile-long driveway I couldn’t believe Sean was going to be at the end of it. We would finally be together as a family!!! I grabbed Abi out of the car seat and as I walked up the steps to the front door, Sean walked out and we just laughed with pure joy. We couldn’t believe it. We hugged and laughed and stared at each other in amazement. WE WERE FINALLY ALL TOGETHER. IN THE STATES. WITH ABIELLA. SAFE. It was too much to believe. I handed Abiella to him and in the middle of her sleep she smiled. She knew.


11) We sat by the fire and Sean held Abiella for almost an hour, we had a snack, let Abi sleep, and then hit the road for the final 1.5 hour drive to Nashville.

12) We arrived in Nashville by 9pm. As we pulled up I saw that Sean had recently mowed the lawn, added mums on the porches, and washed my car. When we all finally walked in as a family of three, I saw the whole house was decorated!!





13) We then got a text that our friends (across the street) were wanting to meet Abiella if we were up for it. So we bundled her up and walked across the street. It was so much fun to FINALLY walk across the street with OUR DAUGHTER!!! IN AMERICA!!! IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!!

14) The next day my dad came to meet Abiella (so amazing) and I learned that my friends had set up a “food calendar” so that we would have home cooked meals brought to our home at night. Unbelievable!!! This would also be a great way that they could meet Abi one by one and not bombard her with a bunch of loud “obrunis.”

15) The next two days, were perfect, sacred, amazing, wonderful, and exhausting. Abi and I were still jet lagged so our clocks were doing crazy things. (Asleep at 5pm up at 2am kind of crazy.) However, Abi was settling in and LOVING her new world :)

This is her discovering her new crib for the first time.

16) Throughout this time, Abi had a few “fits” (similar to her stomach pains in Africa.) We were unsure if it was due to diet, (which is super bland right now), or if it was acid reflux, gas, etc. So I was ecstatic when I realized Sean had already made an appointment (when I was in Africa) with our pediatrician at the children’s hospital for Monday morning.

17) So Monday morning, we go in for our first appointment and due to the fact that Abi is 15 pounds and almost 2 years old… (pics are deceiving friends… she’s way too skinny) AND the fact that we were unsure if she was aspirating OR what the stomach pains were from, they decided to go ahead and admit her into the hospital.

18) You would think this would be a huge disappointment but in fact it was a HUGE relief!! We were finally going to get Abi the health care she deserved!!!!!! Our main goal was to get her hydrated and figure out how to feed her SAFELY / find out why she’s having stomach pains… BUT in the meantime (since we’re already here) we’re getting other tests done that we had planned on getting anyways.

19) Yesterday was great. She loved her room and even though she had to be pricked with a needle twice, she was all smiles. Life was good and she knew it. We were in America getting health care!!!



20) Today, though, has been rough. All night long she had vitals taken (aka- waking up to cold thermometers and strangers’ hands touching her…) and then today she’s had IVs flushed, blood drawn, x-rays, Upper GI testing, a swallow study, physical and occupational therapy AND a feeding tube put in, and she hasn’t gotten food since 7 am this morning and it’s now almost 5:30pm. Progress is being made, but that’s A LOT for a precious baby girl’s 4th full day in America. A whole lot.

21) So… here I am. Sitting on my new “bed”, watching my BEAUTIFUL daughter sleep while precious nutrients (she’s been deprived of her whole life) flow through a feeding tube, through her nose and into her belly. I’m holding onto the silence like gold, knowing that she’s FINALLY sleeping… but I’m also, dreading the clock, knowing that  in 19 minutes a nurse will walk in, put a rubberband around Abi’s little arm, wake her up and take more blood. As great as the nurses are, this girl needs rest… and it’s hard to get it here. And me? Well, I’m trying to keep my eyes open and my spirits high. I am tired, I am sad that Abi’s having such an intrusive and rough introduction to her new life, I am thrilled that she’s getting medical care, I am THANKFUL that I’m in MY city and I can look out my new window and see MY TOWN (and that I’m not walking across a red dirt road to beg help from a pharmacist in Ghana whose never even seen my baby, whose handing me a bottle of medicine I’ve never even heard of before) and I’m moving forward one doctor’s visit at a time, one of Abiella’s laughs at a time, and one of Abiella’s crocodile tears at a time. Praying peace for this miraculous child...

It's 6:10 AM....

It's 6:10 here and my daughter woke up around 5:15... I must have gotten up 10 times during the night: go to bathroom, go cough where Abi wouldn't wake up, take cough medicine, drink more water, etc. etc. TO say my brain is on overload is an understatement. I'm sitting here with my stomach churning, eating my upteenth peanut butter and tortilla roll-up (they now officially make me gag- but thankful to have food) , watching Abi rock out to the music coming out of my iPod, and thinking about how in the world I'm going to get through the next 30 hours...

Hold on- must go feed  my daughter...

Okay, I'm back. Food eaten WITH a burp.  Oh how quickly the things that get me excited have changed :)

Today is important.

I have an appointment today with the visa department at the embassy.  If Abiella's visa is printed then we're heading to the airport immediately after to go get on a plane and begin the 24 hour / 3 flights home... These tickets were NOT easy to get, and my husband worked for countless hours finding a way to get us home before the "next available seats" (Next Week!) Praying we get the visa and can USE THESE TICKETS.

It's been a good trip, a hard trip, a great trip, a memorable trip, an incredibly special trip, a blessed trip, a scary trip, and an EXHAUSTING trip.  This mama is SO ready to be at home and begin our life as a little family of 3 I can hardly stand it.  I'm scared to let my mind wander too far (will I be home by Friday?) b/c you never know what will happen.  But for now, I'm praying my daughter will poop (Hey, Milk of Magnesia- live up to your hype won't ya?), taking my 2nd Excedrin,  packing bags, charging all my electronics, downing some eggs that were just delivered to our room, gathering my paperwork for my visa meeting, figuring out how to pack everything I need for myself and a baby in a backpack for 30 hours, and praying the visa is printed and the day goes smoothly and we're given super natural peace and STRENGTH.  I'm also trying to remember to be THANKFUL. We have SO much to be thankful for, and the great people I've met here have reminded me that life is FUN and that you can enjoy the ride and lean on God, even in the challenges.  As my new friend Paul put it, "God brought you here.  He brought you to this baby.  You must let Him bring you through it all. Do not worry.  We're not made to worry."

So right now my rock star mama is giving Abi a bath and handing me gatorade bottles and peanut butter roll-ups with a look that says, "Eat this, or else."

So thankful she is here.  So, so thankful.  I don't know how I could have done this without her.  It is a true blessing and gift from God that He made it possible for her to come with me.

And...Abi is HAPPY.  Very HAPPY.  She wakes up smiling... she laughs at loud noises... Sometimes I look over at her and she's just sitting there grinning ear to ear.  I'm so thankful for this 2 week "learning curve."  We've gotten through a lot together and I feel like the bonding has been so sacred.  Now I just need to show her Daddy all her new tricks :) For one, she laughs at Beyonce's song "Upgrade You" EVERY SINGLE TIME.  I'm sure it's the beat or the drums or Jay-Z's voice or something that resonates in her little ears, but the timing is hilarious b/c she laughs right when Beyonce says something sassy.  Looks like this little girl's a lot more like her mama than I realized :)

The power / internet here has been limited so here's a few photos I meant to upload earlier... More to come for sure...

Abi's first head scratch...

Our angels...Paul and Lawrencia. God used them to quite possibly save Abiella's life... They're love is unbelievable.  In fact, yesterday they sent someone to do our laundry for us and Paul came by last night to visit and pray.  He said, "We are your only family here.  We must do this.  You are our sisters and your baby is our baby. And one day when I meet your husband, he will by my brother. When you are a Christian you have family all over the world."

Practicing sitting up and using our neck muscles... (aka- playing.)

View from our hotel. (I bought a cute dress at one of the shops across the street and an incredibly special woman made my mom a scarf just for her...)

Okay, off to continue packing and perhaps change my daughter's poopy diaper... could we be so lucky?!???

If you think about it, please pray for a visa and a safe trip home!

mae

How Am I Going to Get Through this Day?!?

Right now I’m sitting in my hotel room, watching my precious baby nap (in a hoodie with no A/C… she’s going to need a down body-suit when we get to TN) and I am ALL nerves.  Today I wait and see if the embassy has mercy and expedites our visa.  My POA is there right now on behalf of our case (and 5 other children.)  Phew.  Lord, JESUS, may they give us a stamped visa TODAY. 

So while I wait, I thought I’d write about last night.  Wow.  Just wow.  Our friends (the angels) who helped save our baby's life, invited us over for a traditional Ghanaian meal.  At 5:45 we heard a knock on our hotel door and it was their 10 year old son, there to escort us to their home.  As we drove in the car through the bumpy, red dirt roads, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the incredible experiences God has allowed me to have throughout this adoption journey.  I’m experiencing new cultures, observing different ways of life, appreciating things I typically take for granted, and meeting absolute angels along the way.

When we arrived at the house we were graciously greeted by all of the children and aunties and grandmother we had met during our last visit.  One child ran up and gave us a hug, dogs were barking (Abi LOVED the dogs barking) and the grandmother came to give us a hug.  It was such a warm and loving welcome. 

We took off our shoes, walked inside and visited with the children.  A few minutes later the children were asked to leave the room and a table was set for two.  (Just my mom and me.)

Paul told us that the grandmother would take care of Abiella while I ate, so I could enjoy my meal.  So I handed Abi to the amazing woman who had so beautifully prayed for her health two nights before. Before long,  2 beautiful plates of hot food came out, 2 sachets of water, and a bowl and soap for us to wash our hands.  They told us to enjoy the meal and left the room.  While we ate our meal, they were in and out, checking on us, and telling us, “You are not strangers! Eat every bite!” with huge smiles on their faces.  The dish was called “Red Red” and it was DELICIOUS. (Beans, plantains, meat…) Lawrencia made it (the amazing woman who had been bringing Abi porridge all week) and at the end of the meal we thanked them profusely for the honor of enjoying such an extraordinary dish in their amazing home. We visited with them some more and before long, the taxi was back and we all gathered around for one more prayer. This time we asked for a quick visa and an easy trip home.  The grandmother said a BEAUTIFUL prayer (again, different language, but I could FEEL it) Paul said a prayer, and then we said “Hallelujiah, Amen!” 

We hugged and laughed and said goodbye. I hugged these people like they were my own kin and told them I loved them and that I would be sending photos of Abiella.

30 minutes later we were back at our hotel with full bellies, thankful spirits, and ready for a good night’s rest. 

Today, we wait in the hotel room for news regarding the visa.  I am more nervous than ever!!! We have tickets on hold to leave for home Thursday night but we have to confirm them today.  If I don’t have the visa today I’m not sure it’s wise to confirm the tickets and possibly lose the money… But if I don’t confirm I literally lose the only seat available until the 15^th of October.  Ahhhh…

Abi (praise God!) has been doing great! This is the BIGGEST BLESSING. She is feeling good and has been very smiley. She finds almost everything funny.  (Loud noises, other people laughing, etc.) Praise God for a happy, healthy baby. (She still doesn’t feel 100%... she threw up this morning from so much mucus and she had some gas pains… but MUCH Better!  She’s SUCH a trooper.)

 Alright- off to go edit photos, drink a coke, and somehow make it through the rest of this day :)

The Good, The Bad, and the Miraculous

Where to begin…

It’s been beautiful, hard, scary (really scary at times), exhausting, and exhilerating. 

Let’s start with the beautiful. Last Saturday,  I got to pick up Abiella from the orphanage.  My mom and I waited in the director’s office quietly when all of a sudden a woman walked in with my precious bundle wrapped up in a blanket.  I ran over, grabbed her, and Abiella started smiling immediately.  I swear she recognized me.  I held her for a long time, playing, and laughing (while remaining paperwork was filled out by the director.)  I then handed Abi over to her “Nonny” (my mom’s grandmother name) and the two of them met for the first time (so awesome to watch).  Administration finished the paperwork quickly and then all of a sudden , they said, “Okay, you can go" and before I knew it I was walking Abiella out of those orphanage doors for the last time.  I couldn't get her out of there fast enough. 

We then got in the car and headed back to the hotel.  There were two more little boys in the car who were being adopted soon and working with our POA to get their visa medicals. They were very quiet but as I held and played with Abiella I told the boys they would love America.  They perked up when I told them about how they could go to school there. As gospel music played on the radio, the lyrics “It’s God’s timing… It’s your time for a miracle” were blaring through the speakers. As I held my precious baby, saw my mom watching from the front seat, and felt the car rumble far away from the orphanage I thought I was going to lose it.  Abi was finally in my custody and the song coming through the speakers could not have been more poignant. 

30 minutes later we were back to the hotel and when we stepped out of the car into the sun Abiella squealed.  (For a child who rarely makes a peep, this was an amazing time for her to share a shrill of excitement. My mom and I laughed at how perfect the timing was. Again, I swear she knew she was finally out of the orphanage for good.) For the rest of the night we gave her rice cereal (instead of porridge, in an attempt to begin transitioning her diet) and played. A fellow guest "auntie" here, assisted in showing how she assumed Abi had been fed at the orphanage (since they wouldn't show us.) It worked and she ate it up. She was beyond happy and throwing her head back and even giggling.  In addition, that night, my POA’s assistant came and brought Abi’s passport!!!! (A piece that could have taken weeks to get was received IN ONE DAY!) Unbelievable. The blessings were pouring in.

We had a reasonably good night’s sleep… (Me, Nonny, and baby sleeping in a double bed) and then the hard stuff came in.  The next day Abi started crying…a lot.  For the sake of not writing a novel, (and not reliving those terrifying moments) I can summarize with this:  4 trips to the pharmacy, 2 rounds of constipation, incessant heart burn, possibly a stomach ulcer, and serious aspirating.

In the midst of one of her fits, out of nowhere a foster father who lives a 15 minute taxi ride away (whom we had hoped Abi would get to stay with months ago) heard we were at the guest house and decided to come introduce himself to us and, "Thank us for loving Ghana's children." (Unbelievable soul.) The timing of his surprise arrival couldn't have been more miraculous. I looked down from the communal porch and there he was walking through the gate.  I recognized him from pictures and ran to him, “Paul!!!!”  He sat with us for an hour, visiting, listening to Abi's cries and then he held Abi and stood up with me and prayed for her.  Just miraculous.  He then told me he would check with us in the morning and send his wife to treat her if she wasn't feeling better.  The next day, she wasn't feeling better... in fact, she felt so bad that at first glance his wife thought she had malaria! BUT she didn't have a fever (at least not a high one) so the ultimate consensus was digestive issues. So for 4 days Paul and his family assisted us in treating Abiella.  His wife came every day (sometimes twice a day to bring her home-made porridge and we are now trying to transition her to American food more slowly). In addition to her raging stomach problems she was suffering from a debilitating cold.

For 5 days she was almost always constipated and in severe pain. On the worst day, Paul's wife came over and suggested that we take our treatment to the next level... a traditional "pump." (enema.) She explained that the procedure had been passed down from grandfather to grandfather. I was desperate and completely out of resources.  Abi was in so much pain and we had exhausted all of our Western Medicine resources.  She had received milk of magnesia, cramp water, cough meds for a cold, lacutose, 4 trips to the pharmacy and everything I had brought from home…  Nothing was working and since I trusted these people with my own life, and they had fostered two of my friends' own babies I decided their advice was the best choice and said,“Yes, let’s do it.” 

So that night, Paul sent his son (10 years old) to come get us from the hotel and take us to their home.  Upon arrival, 16 children Paul is fostering at his incredible home greeted us, women smiled warmly as food was being cooked over a fire outside, and we were invited through the screen door and inside the home.  As my mom sat with Abi, Paul encouraged me to come outside to watch and learn how they were preparing the traditional African "pump."

Step by step, they taught me how how to grind leaves and ginger on a rock, make it into a pudding consistency, strain with warm water, and then use it as an enema.

Before giving it to her, Paul had all the other children leave the room and told us, "We are waiting for the grandmother to come in and pray. We are Christians and we ask God to intervene in everything we do. So we always pray first.” I thanked them for this.  Moments later an absolutely stunning African woman walked in, sat down, and began praying. The prayer was powerful.  It was in a language I didn't understand but I felt connected.  This amazing woman screamed a prayer to the heavens and when it was done we all said, "AMEN" and then they began the procedure. Within 20 minutes Abi was feeling better (and cleaned out.)  They bathed her (showed me how they bathe their African babies) and then they fed her.  Before we left the grandmother held Abi one more time and we all stood up, put our hands in the air and the grandmother prayed again.  This time she started with a song.  It was beautiful and powerful.  One of the most incredible and loving experiences of my life.  I've never felt so loved by those whom I had only met days before.  The place radiated with the love of God. As Paul said it, "The second you walk into my home you are family.  You are my sister and she is our baby."

Despite my pure joy that Abi was acting like her old happy self, by the end of the experience I was feeling feverish… but I didn’t want to alarm anyone so I thanked them profusely and quickly got in a cab once the boys got us one.  They escorted us back to the hotel. 

When I got to the hotel I collapsed on the bed and just cried.  So much to handle and so little resources.  I was so thankful for these angels that God had sent into my life.  I thought the worse was over (Abi was asleep immediately) and I went to bed. But the next morning, I woke up with a fever of 102 and a crazy sore throat.  Of course, my first fear was malaria… but I didn't think it would be accompanied by a soar throat.  Throughout the day the fever came and went. So while I was sick as a dog, my mom got up, took care of Abi, and sure enough an hour later Abi was screaming in pain again.  (Don’t you know the hotel loves us??) This is when I decided it might be acid reflux or an ulcer.  She’s NOT a fussy baby, you know that when she’s crying she’s in SERIOUS pain.  So helpless.  So the angels (Paul and his family) returned and helped us treat her.   AGAIN.  This time, no enema... just a lot of holding and rocking and speaking to her. 

Meanwhile, on the paperwork front, I took Abi to my I-600 meeting on Wednesday and she did great.  No crying! (She LOVES the car and loud music...which is perfect since mama does too :) At the end of the interview, when I asked a time frame for approval the woman said, “60 Days” I then proceeded to BEG them to expedite… I told them I was staying in a hotel with Abiella until she could come home and that we had SERIOUS health concerns.  I followed up with an email describing our situation (a few other amazing folks wrote them on our behalf too) and guess what?!  Less than 48 hours later I had a notice of approval in my inbox!!!!  No 60 days here!

Then I emailed the Visa department (our next and final step) explaining the emergency we were in regarding Abi's health and 30 minutes later THEY CALLED THE HOTEL MANAGER looking for me! They said they would try to expedite too. So they have a meeting with my POA on Tuesday morning and possibly our exit interview Tuesday afternoon. (Please pray we get the that interview Tuesday afternoon and immediate visa approval.) I don't want to wait any more days for a visa stamp. Soooo we’ve had many miracles (Praise God! And many heartaches… But God’s getting us in and out of them. )

Please pray!!! Please pray for Abi’s stomach issues to cease until we can admit her into American health care.  Please pray for a peace and for us to enjoy these remaining days in her beautiful country.  Please pray for the visa to go swiftly.

Update:  (I wrote the above portion a few days ago... but was unable to upload due to lack of power at the hotel.)  The past two days have been much better!!! Abi's stomach pains are a little more manageable and thanks to all the help (ESPECIALLY my amazing mother) we seem to have hit a groove.  Today she was laughing when she ate and even giggling when I tickled her neck.  She looks MUCH heavier, healthier, and happier and life is looking brighter... Please continue to pray for success in this area as we're still unsure of the cause, but we think it is acid reflux, swallowing more air than usual (due to her swallowing issues) and stress due to an immediate change in the amount of stimulation she got.  Even good stress can cause your bowels to change... any of you can't go to the bathroom when you're on vacation?  That kind of thing. :)

All this to say, we're doing well, eager to get home, and loving every single second Abi is happy, healthy, and becoming more and more like her old self. Praise Jesus!!!!

Also- My beautiful sister Lindsay got married yesterday and Abi and I celebrated the big occasion from Africa :) Here I am in my bridesmaid dress toasting Lindsay and Ben from the terrace of our  hotel :) Woohoo!!! Cheers to Lindsay and Ben!!!! Love you Sister and Brother!

Sidenote: Despite the fact Abi looks like she's crying here, she was really squealing b/c a bus had just honked it's horn and she loves loud noises. 

Phew- that was long...

God bless- over and out from across the ocean. 

mary susan